Ah, video games. Where would we be without them? A higher tax bracket? Our own home? Interacting with other adults? Getting re-aquainted with sunlight? Whatever. Those people can eat it. Like I'm about to eat this power up. In your face, Chronoratu!

• 11.

  The Abortionator

  You know, these games are going to breed a whole new generation of kids who think it's okay to kill people and mistreat hookers. The way we grew up thinking gorillas were donkeys and basketball was played with a block of concrete.
• 10.

  Donkey Kong Halo

  Well, they seemed to have spared Mario.
• 9.

  Alien Front Line

  Man, if I'd known these aliens were so friendly, I'd never have killed so many of them without a thought.
• 8.

  Can't Be a Crime to Kick a Dope Rhyme

  Looks like this one died trying.
• 7.

  Office Kombat

  Oh, if only actual office fights ended this quickly and definitively. Most real ones turn into an ongoing grudge match where everyone's a loser.
• 6.

  Excitebike

  Did this guy just happen upon a dirt bike track on the way to delivering his newspapers?

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