That's the thing about giving your heart to someone. They may take great care of it for a while, maybe keep it in a special place or put it in their pocket so it's always with them. But it's only a matter of time before they forget about it, accidentally sit on it, or set it on fire, tear it into little pieces and eat it because people are terrible monsters. You should no more love another human than love a threshing machine. Idiot. Happy Valentine's Day.

• 11.

  Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule

  Steve Brule, Crushed by Sunshine

  Finding out if your love interest comes from the right kind of family may seem antiquated, but it could save you from committing crimes against nature.
• 10.

  Childrens Hospital

  Cat and Nicky's May/January/December Romance

  So frustrating. If she'd just been a little more attentive we may have figured out which survey was calling her.
• 9.

  Aqua Teen Hunger Force

  Frylock's Unrequited Love

  Girls are never as impressed with murder as it seems like they're going to be.
• 8.

  Robot Chicken

  Andy's Toys Never Stopped Loving

  Well, what Andy lacks in compassion for the inanimate objects he owned as a child, he makes up for by being a sexual Santa Claus.
• 7.

  Squidbillies

  Sheriff's Monster Betrayal

  For anyone out there who thinks passive aggression is the worst possible behavior, we present you with side-biting aggression.
• 6.

  Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

  Carol Betrays Mr. Henderson

  And HBO's "Real Sex" series takes one more step away from anything that anyone recognizes as reality.

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